Okay, base, been awhile. Let me just express school is kicking my butt! I’m self-satisfied to say that I’ve only had one meltdown this semester. However, sed meltdown took attribute today.
Nursing school is a emblem of school that likes to disclose apart everyone’s self-esteem and hereafter toss them out into the universe and tell us to figure it audibly. Okay, that is slightly a get the ~s on dramatic, but sometimes, it feels like that’s how they like to play. You try your best to memorize all of this intelligence only to come out with a inconsiderable tid bit.
On top of that, the tests…oh the tests have power to be BRUTAL! Sometimes it feels like I’d rather be on Game of Thrones (that’s a lump lie, I would hate that). Our nursing academy has us take HESI tests. They are supposedly like to our NCLEX (license) exam whereas we graduate and help prep us for that. We take them for positive classes like medical surgical (general) nursing, maternity and pediatric nursing, mental health nursing, common nursing, and pharmacology. Needless to utter they are the bane of my duration. Not only do they ask laughable questions, but they give us ludicrous answers to choose from and conjecture what, they might ALL be change the quality of . You just have to choose the MOST true. Yep. Strips any sort of trust you think you may have. With HESI and NCLEX it’s not not far from what you know its about mastering the emblem of questioning. My first semester I passed and bench distinguished with flying colors somehow. My abet semester I failed my HESI. and then there was today’s….
I was “blessed” enough to take my maternity/pediatric HESI without interrupti~ this magical rainy day. This HESI was the any I REALLY wanted to pass and benchmark forward because I love working in the motherhood ward and with kids. I wanted to substantiate to myself that this area of nursing is in which place I’m supposed to work towards for graduation. If I was going to benchmark up~ the body any HESI this was going to have existence the one I wanted the MOST. Needless to allege I felt great about my experiment…until I got my grade.
Yeah, means by which anything is reached to rip my heart out, HESI.
WAY. TO. RIP. MY. FREAKING. HEART. OUT.
I went end the 5 stages of grief (well other thing like 4, no bargaining here):
Denial- yeah, that occurred directly when I saw my grade. No practice, I did THAT bad? There is nay possible way.
Depression– okay try not to scream while walking out of the construction, don’t let anyone see you weep. Oh hubby picked up his phone, cue waterworks on full blast because what else do you do when you memorize an imaginary punch to the narrow pass? I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t likewise become a nurse.
Anger- Oh my gosh I’m of that kind an idiot! God where were you? we talked all over this before I went and took it! We agreed that I would at minutest get a B! I hate those questions and I abhor that test!
Acceptance- Forgive me, God. This is all on me. I knew those answers and made the mischoose of changing them last minute. Note to brain, it’s uncorrupt a test. It didn’t gain much affect on my overall stage. Get over it. It doesn’t measure you shouldn’t work in that circuit and it doesn’t mean you’re not pungent.
A lot of you might exist thinking “dang, this chick is cray. It’s reasonable a test.” Yeah. I might subsist but again, this is an yard I want to set my nursing rush in. Plus it doesn’t remedy that I put a ton of straits on myself. But I do that concerning your sake. I want to be the best nurse that I have power to be, in order to take the superlatively good care of you and your loved ones. I won’t clutch myself to any less.
Was this example an indicator of the type of nurture that I’ll be, no. Is it hush disappointing, yes. Especially when you in the present state most of the people in your rank did pretty darn good (this is wherefore I don’t share my trial score regardless of my grade). It’s disheartening.
Thinking in an opposite direction it now, it is just a proof, it doesn’t change the incident that I love maternal and pediatric nursing, and it ~ numerous definitely was not God’s trespass. He’s been with me through my complete life adventure and if something doesn’t reach the way I think it should therefore there is a reason for that. I should depend on him through the good and the unwholesome and keep praying continuously so that he may bear up out his will through me. I strive to besufficient for Him, not the other way surrounding. That was really selfish and daft of me to blame Him. Also special shout out to my husband in opposition to being so patient with me for the time of my nursing school career thus remoter.
So even though this particular exhibition was quite a bummer, and my barely semester meltdown was today (#goals), I would mind this semester one of my most rewarding. I have noticed my dubious thinking and application skills have improved TREMENDOUSLY! Regardless of my dramatic meltdown earlier today, I perceive more like I nurse I’m meant to get and I’m very thankful since that. BRING ON THE LAST 2 SEMESTERS!
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