17 NOVEMBER 2012
The unforgettable obscurity…

I think the vibration from gangster rugged ride on ‘masyrut’ have left totally an impact on my tummy. After a 30min ride from Zhelezo-Dorozhni Hospital since clinical- pharmacology class, I could be stirred my uterus in hypertonic state and genius so hard like a wooden plate armor. It’s actually quite a usual reaction I had after every ‘masyrut’ ride, limit this time I feel that it’s perfectly different, as contraction prolonged till recently deceased evening.
I was struggle to converging-point on my clinical pharmacology work which was need to be settled ~ the agency of tomorrow, but as the contraction was acquirement more frequent and intensive, I could not remain focusing on the work anymore..
During that time I got the instinct that tomorrow will not be the like anymore,
Tomorrow gonna be a brighter ~light for me,
For us.

The serving to add force, painful but irregular contraction started at 1000pm. I decided to get a rest. Force myself to rest and not to think about my muffle -working-on assignment. I was in the same manner frustrated and struggling to get it carried on but my body tells me to surrender to the real uncomfortable contraction that struck my tummy. I lied prostrate but failed to close my eyes. My hubby came to me while he found that I’m in the intolerable pain and offered me hot close shutting bag and massage…It did helps conducive to couple of minutes but later forward the effects faded away. My hubby for good comforted himself to sleep after not thinking what to do. While me, I certain to take a hot shower on the side of relaxing.

The shower really comforting, contractions seemed to subjugate in its intensity but not oftenness. Thinking that I might be dehydrated. I indisputable to reheat the special tea with honey and cinnamon made by hubby. And Alhamdulillah it reduced the drawing in pain intensity. Once again I attain myself fall asleep but the essay was failed. I can’t stay in level position at all so I unhesitating to get on foot, and excursion around aimlessly in the room.
When I scratched my pelt a bit and it showed RED dermographism.
No uncertainty.

At 1am, all methods that I knew have power to help reducing contraction pain were failed to fashion myself relax and sleep. So I determined to make a short note whensoever the contraction occurs. From the time-minute I found out the pattern of shortening and knew that this is before that time my first stage of TRUE labor. So a little while ago there is nothing should be done but to wait and make fertility of duas and plans…

Actually, my hospital pouch was ready few weeks ago. I be~ really excited when I understand that it’s going to exist used very soon. So during that restless night I recheck those bags and effect up in mind my plan instead of tomorrow.
After fajr prayer we determined to follow advice from our midwife and gynecologist (O&G) Professor Zharkin to walk from home to the labor-hospital at the same time that natural way to induce delivery.
So we walked.
At 0750 we departed from home which located 2-3km from hospital, we walked side by side and talk about future and comical things across the bridge, down to vokzal(rail state), through beautiful Sakura Park and as the final move reach the hospital at 0850.

In the hospital afterward completing the registration form, they checked my BP and did VE.
Dr. Sthepanova smiled and related to me ‘Nurul, you are erect; its 2cm dilation… nurse please leads her to labor suite.
Alhamdulillah was the only word I could entire at that time, now the majestic moment has come after 38weeks of abeyance.

I was escorted to the labor latitude, and was prohibited to wear scarf and trousers, they told me that we are in labor apartment now, no man will comes in this way don’t worry and please adieu your GOD and faith in your rural as u are now in Russia. I be excited so grossed with those words in such a manner I keep wearing hijab and trouser season waiting in the labor room. And of career it is my right.

Along the passage, I passed few rooms with calm lying on bed, breathing hardly staying for full dilation. No husband or accompanies were seen.
Reached my labor opportunity I still in gape of inspire with ~. Is this for real, it the place really for me? I have seen labor for the period of my practical class but never try to imagine that I’m gonna subsist one of the patients.
The song in that room is so devoid of warmth, it completed with set of gynae-professorship, special wooden chair for vertical labor, bathtub concerning relaxing, exercise ball bed and etc. Staring at the labor scope, I still can’t believe myself that I’m going to discharge so soon as my estimated becoming date is a week later. But I tried to convince myself that everything will going to be okay, I am sure can practise it!
But the nervousness never faded away…

Alhamdulillah my room is a sequestered room so my hubby is willing to join my waiting… We spent this critical time together by perusal Quran, watch funny movie to distract my penalty, I got comfort and massage from him.
Later at 2pm dr asked me admitting that water-break already,
I said ~t one…
So they do VE again and ARM.
After the action I have constant amniotic fluid running for the period of contractions interval. The fluid was hoar and transparent, Alhamdulillah…

Unexpectedly Prof. Zharkin came to us and in short advised us a unique method to comfort pain and to deal with drawing in. It’s a half squatting place and hand movement along the tight along with singing. He also asked me to try relaxing in the Jacuzzi like bath tub.

To oppose with pain nurse injected me with spasmolytic on my buttock but it worked solitary for an hour or less. At 430 I handle that my body can’t possess anymore with the pain, the pang was like u want to poop further the poop really hard and pompous and in the same time u be impressed a severe cutting like pain in your vagina, in that place we no pain like that I continually face in my entire life before.

Dr came and offers me 02 inhalation with narcotic (entonox). I told em to accomplish whatever they need to help me, I breathed the sedative gas and few minute later the nature spinning, my mouth dry, all my muscle cramping and deaden, I cant utter any word and my hubby was in such a manner anxious, I wanted to smile on this account that he was really cute when in immense anxiety, but my facial muscle too ‘ paralyzed’ at that time so I no other than manage to ”smile in my mind”

I lost connection with the globe and the last thing I perceive is Dr forced me to change place myself from bed to gynae- set (lithotomy position). They help transported me and posterior 11 hours, the 2nd stage of labor break ground…

The entry of my baby to the universe means I have to help her be current safely through my ‘SMALL tunnel’ into the BIG creation. She had done her part by slowly descending her head and perfecting. Now, it is my time to co-operate with her, we were team mate since then. I really thank Allah in the place of the presence of my hubby aside from me because during the ‘push’ time I HEARD in such a manner many voices in Russian and in Malay asking me to push excepting that when the contraction begin, voices giving encouragement, choice expressed asking me to deepened my living, voice commanding not to push for the time of contraction interval .There were so frequent voices yelling but during that time I happy LISTEN and FOCUS only to single voice and that was my hubby’. Because barely from his voice I could ‘feel’ the certain empathy.

I still remember the jiffy when they took my hand to handle fetal head that started to came in a puzzle from my vagina, I feel to such a degree afraid and sad when I be wrought up that the head was seared and I started to imagine that my infant. is hypoxic down there because of me. I was pushing weak and not helping my baby from one side this critical struggle. Immediately I breed a drive of energy rushed in me to transact the push ‘better’ … I forced myself to boil down and do better. I tried my superlatively good to follow the instructions and commands and the nearest thing that I knew then was that, she was born. They propose the baby on my chest rectilinear after all part of her material part delivered so that the baby be possible to hear my heart beat. Later, I heard Alaa’ nefarious and ‘our 1st battle’ is completely. We finally did it.

Writing this in the guard, I can still feel the heartache, but I thank Allah that He eases a fortune of things for me throughout my pregnancy and labor.
Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.
Every of medicine student can read book and get a profit knowledge on how the labor suit is, but Allah granted me not singly with knowledge but also the surpassing EXPERIENCE.
All in all throughout this laboriously, tough and fearful journey, He honored me with a cute baby who will by and by call me ‘Mommy’…

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