A late story published by Toronto Life relative to the story of a young, support-generation Asian American woman named Jennifer Pan left me silent. To summarize very briefly, Pan was raised through two Vietnamese parents who had one time been refugees and held extremely high academic standards for her, “tiger parenting”, of the same kind with it’s commonly called. Unable to persist achieving the excellence her parents demanded by her early teen years, Pan began falsifying her publish cards, graduation from high school, accepted bill into college, and transfer into the University of Toronto’s pharmacology program. For a decade she showed the universe a happy, sociable face while unworthy of below the level of the surface she concocted layers immediately after layers of lies to convince her parents she was doing well, moreover as her fabricated reality finally started to overthrow apart under scrutiny, she began to cause to grow much more sinister ideas. In the events that followed, Pan’s originating was killed and her father badly wounded ~ the agency of three hit-men Pan hired to rid herself of her parents’ control for aye. Despite her efforts to evade discovery, Pan’s deceptions were once another time unraveled, and she along with 4 co-conspirators be seized of been charged with first degree assassinate, and she has been sentenced to life in workhouse with no chance of parole in opposition to 25 years.
I highly recommend anyone partial to read the article linked in heaven in full, but for those not thus inclined, here‘s a shorter lection.
This story should be disturbing to anyone, otherwise than that to me and a large equal in ~ of fellow children of one or added Asian “tiger parents”, this incident was unnerving in the extreme. For frequent of us, it is because we mark some of her behaviors and attitudes in our younger selves. We have lied about our grades. We bear lamented our restricted social lives and tried to keep friendships and romantic relationships behind our parents’ backs. We gain felt intense pressure to be the beyond all others, even if we aren’t admitting of doing so. We have imagined a life exclusively of our aggressive parents and thought that it efficiency be better.
For me, the moving of anger and fear of failure that Pan fust have felt has faded. The intention of most tiger parents is to have existence strict in the present, knowing that in the that will be, their children will be grateful as being their constant pushing toward success. However, Pan at no time reached this conclusion, and her actions combined through the fact that she managed to cajole her parents for so long and in similar dramatic ways tells me that matter went wrong in the intended succession of events. Pan’s parents may be delivered of invested in their daughter, but they weren’t setting her up because of success; they probably pushed their agenda from a high to a low position her throat without giving her a mind why or any amount of wiggle compass, hindering her growth into a serious, self-driven young adult. Pan was en~ to remain her parents’ puppet and grew twisted in her attempts to cut the strings.
That being said, it is unwise to blame Pan’s actions without ceasing parenting alone. Plenty of children actual observation tiger parenting. Some embrace it; more reject it; some endure it as being so long that it grows forward them. They do not, however, scheme the demise of their own parents. By the time Pan began allowing for murder, she was an adult who could be obliged simply left her old life backward. The strings between guardians and children in ~ degree longer bound her; the chains she plant heavy enough to be worth ending brace lives were of her own cosmos, reflecting something terribly wrong within the deepest share of her mind. The result was of the nature of tragedy and should remind both parents and children to reprove whether their intentions and the outcomes of their actions are sooth to say matching up.
Those charged (from left to just) two of the three men Pan hired, Pan’s co-conspirator and boyfriend Daniel Wong, and Jennifer Pan.
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