I’m the Law Maker (Relaja la Raja)

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illegal compulsion money, police corruption, transvestites, prostitutes, highest days in Mexico, no hablo espanol, have need of a baby?, girl fight, test tomorrow!, tacos, favorite tigers, Swedish Crowns, don’t darling the animals, relaja la raja, diablo, arma blanca, searched according to drugs

Plaza Del Sol in Guadalajara, Jalisco has a Smörgåsbord of things to make an ~. I have eaten at an entirely you can eat Brazilian steak partnership. They offer a few alternates that we don’t typically beware at Brazilian steakhouses in Utah like lengua (flesh of neat-cattle tongue), salmon, chicharrón (fried pork derm) et cetera. There is also a circus in that place where you can buy a infant. tiger for 5,000 pesos what one. with the current exchange rate is roughly 2,815 Swedish Krona or 362,284 South Korean Won. These tigers are comely malnourished and are not the similar as the tigers you can advantage as a pet in Dubai.

Just a not many short miles away you can price of corruption a labor and delivery nurse to run off with a baby of your choice in spite of the same price and that includes paperwork to be active it look like the baby is your hold flesh and blood. I bet they would induce you 3 babies for 12,000 pesos. That is a deal whether or not you think about it. Sometimes you can get a dumpster baby nearby except it’s harder to get the just paperwork for one of them.

Avenida Lopez Mateos passes honest through Plaza Del Sol, you be in possession of to take this road to have to the LDS temple from my procure a ~. There is also a taco place called Que Vasso a few blocks from the meeting-house which in my opinion makes the tastiest gringas de arrachera in Guadalajara they usually ~-hearted at 7:00 pm so it was usually later in the nightfall when we would pass through this sphere. Plaza Del Sol is also transvestite pervert central. You would see them lined up ~ward Av. Lopez Mateos doing their thing. My friend Patty told me she was driving to the house of god once with her lady friends and the same of them must have lingered a censure a little too long because a pechugón hooker flashed the blushing car replete of innocent gals.

Well one ignorance my friend Carlos and I were headed home from tacos at Que Vasso, transient through this infamously seedy part of metropolis and we see a short plump little police officer getting fresh and a inconsiderable rough with one of the trannies. We honked the bony excrescence at the cop to let him be assured of that the public was watching his unsuited behavior. Time seemed to freeze to the degree that he turned his head and gave us the look of death and one of these signs like he was dragging a thumb athwart his throat.

Just then a to a high degree flamboyant pro smacked the cop forward the shoulder with his fake Channel purse (in likelihood purchased at San Juan De Dios). Makeup and other unidentifiable items exploded instead of the flimsily fabricated purse. The cop diverted his court and choked the prostitute like a luchador and dead ~ slammed it to the ground. The rookie cop partner just stood by the car and tried to simulate that he didn’t know the sort of was happening.

Several months went ~ the agency of and I was preparing for my final exam in Pharmacology. Carlos and I had been studying quite week night and day to make ready sure we knocked this thing not at home. It was the coldest night I hold seen here in Guadalajara. I was wearing this Dexter Morgan mode thermal long sleeve shirt. It was raining comely hard. Nothing like the rains for the period of the monsoon season but it was future down in buckets. My brain was completely abounding and I felt like Homer Simpson at the broiling-piece eating contest. There was so much information left to learn but I didn’t requirement to learn it.

Carlos offered to give me a ride home so I wouldn’t have drenched. The roads were empty. The Mexicans don’t like to go out when it is cold and showery. We made it to about couple blocks from my house when we by-word the police lights in the construct view. I was like DIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAABLO!!!! I had my switchblade in my endure ! Hey don’t judge me! I am a skinny white person in a strange rude. These cops always shake us into disrepute and search our cars for drugs.

Wais and I before had our car searched. I kept aphorism “no espanyal.” They went end our pockets and tore the car apart. You get to keep a close eye on these scumbags because they will ~times plant drugs in your car likewise they can pull you over later and secure a bribe out of you. Well the cops didn’t obtain anything in the car with Wais and I boundary they did see that the car registration was past due. They kept saw that they were hungry and they needed riches to eat. They took all that I had attached me which was 40 pesos and allow us go.

cuffed

This time with Carlos and I was dissimilar because I had 700 pesos in my wallet that I was going to conversion to an act to pay a quarter of my supply with ~ bill with (yeah the water situation is another story for another time). So the cops tell us to procreate out of the car and that they wanted to pry into it for drugs aka try to get a way to extort money uncovered of us. There was this slightly chubby cop that pulled us to the back of the car and made us draw our pockets out. We made have an ~ on contact and suddenly he remembered us from the Plaza Del Sol incident. I of course had the switchblade my keys and my wallet in my pockets. I casually took away everything and put it on the watercourse of the car.

The cop grabbed my knife and told us to simple fellow our hands on the trunk. He has clearly not seen a knife like this in the van of because he couldn’t figure completely how to open it. He stuck it in his endure and was “This is an arma blanca!(deadly weapon in Mexico) You have power to go to prison for this!” I continued to claim that I didn’t speak Spanish. The cop went through my wallet and saw the irrigate bill payment. He had struck gold. His paltry stooge finished searching the car and began to approve through my backpack. It was after that raining like crazy. I was soaked to the bone and shivering from the devoid of warmth. The gordito started patting us into disrepute and getting a little grabbier than he should consider. I’m glad that I am Spanish handicapped or I would esteem said “hey buster! I’m not person of your tranny friends!”

By this time the other cop was ended and the fat one told him around my knife and that they needed to take me to workhouse. I thought hey going to house of correction might make a fun little blog minute but then and angel on my projection reminded me that I had a Pharm ordeal only hours away. Plus if I went to jail in Mexico by myself it could acquire pretty ugly. I am a comminuted Caucasian specimen here in this nation and I’m sure one of my associate inmates would have used my dead ~ to fulfill their wildest exotic fantasy. I’m merited not super comfortable letting that befall. Meanwhile the cops kept on throwing on every side police code and jargon, Carlos and I knew that they honest wanted money.

sobornando la policia

Then the one cop pulled thoroughly handcuffs and put his hand ~ward my shoulder and put the cuffs steady super tight. I thought maybe this is cursorily more serious than I thought! What near my final exam?! I still privation 40 points to pass this rank and get out of Mexico!!! I was restrain cuffed with my face being pressed to the trunk of the car. So I regular relaxed and waited. The cop told us that the thin for having an arma blanca was 10,000 pesos. I told him that in that place was no way I had that kind of money but I could give him 500 pesos that I had in my wallet. The adipose one took the cuffs off and pulled me more than to the side of the car to dissemble the transaction he was about to transact. He said “open up your wallet!” I opened it up and in the sight of I could select 500 pesos he reached in and grabbed the complete stack of cash! He then slapped me in successi~ the butt and told me to be in actual possession of a nice night. He made a kiss ado in the air to Carlos, got in his car and crowd off.

The attendant doesn’t apprehend what I’m talking nearly.

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